Quem diria que eu, depois de uma longa vida, ainda estaria à mercê dos ventos? É dessa forma que me sinto! Às vezes, no meio da noite, quando o silêncio administra o meu tempo, revela-se em mim uma alma desamparada! Grandes conflitos emergem! O coração dispara! A boca fica seca! Um tremor intenso e incontrolável no corpo! Como uma criança muito assustada, me sento abruptamente na cama! É o medo! Por um tempo, o coração insiste em ficar acelerado, não sou mais dona de mim! Tudo isso me conduz a um lugar pouco conhecido e muito assustador! Será a morte ou um sinal de vida? A confusão se instala! Brigo comigo mesma e me obrigo a sair desse estado de desequilíbrio! Muitas vezes demora uma eternidade! Um copo d’água, em pequenos goles, faz tão bem! Assim que consigo resgatar um pouco de mim, a consciência vai tomando forma, sempre surge um corpo muito cansado! Tento ficar focada apenas nos sentimentos e sensações presentes. Percebo a força que existe nesse movimento inconsciente, de difícil acesso. Ora me sinto frágil, ora me sinto forte! Tento me entender desesperadamente! Nos momentos em que me recuperei dessas crises, comecei a sentir que todo esse sofrimento, não é tão mal assim. Talvez seja o único jeito de me conduzir aos caminhos da alma!
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