A HISTÓRIA DE ROBERTO ( COMO LIDAR COM O PAI TIRANO)!

Cada paciente que chega me traz um grande aprendizado! Penso que essa troca faz parte da construção que nos permitimos nesse mundo. Quero focar aqui a importância de nossos afetos, de como recebemos e expressamos esses afetos. Muitas vezes temos dificuldades na capacidade de expressão! Desenvolvemos bloqueios na formação do caráter. Essas defesas impedem a manifestação dos conteúdos, em maior ou menor grau. O caso que descreverei é um bom exemplo! Há algum tempo, recebi um telefonema de um homem, que chamarei de Roberto. Dizia estar desesperado, precisava ser ouvido! Estava muito mal e sozinho! Tinha sido encaminhado por uma paciente. Marcamos a entrevista. Quando o recebi, estava visivelmente alterado, nervoso, tentando ser simpático! No decorrer da conversa, foi se acalmando e tentando verbalizar o conflito em que se sentia. Fui entendendo seus dramas e aflições! Em seu relato, falou da relação vivida com seu pai , um homem austero, rígido, que não respeitava a identidade do filho. Isso foi uma constante durante toda sua vida! Não se sentia admirado e nem amado por esse pai! Tinha tido um relacionamento insustentável. O pai repetidamente o desqualificava. Exigia que respondesse às suas expectativas e, como isso não acontecia, não perdia a chance de o humilhar. Roberto se sentia impotente! Toda essa situação foi desestabilizando seu emocional. Desesperado, não teve outra saída senão romper a relacão. Foi a única forma que encontrou! ¨Pronto, a ferida ficou aberta”! Longe desse pai , ao contrário do que pensava, Roberto ficou ainda mais fragilizado! Esse pai se tornou um tirano dentro de seu peito. Sentia-se anulado, sem identidade! Esse círculo vicioso ficou enlouquecedor! Não conseguia trabalhar, nem namorar; afinal ele se sentia “um nada”! Durante o processo terapêutico, precisou se enxergar pelo avesso. Perceber carências, frustrações e o modelo de figura paterna que tinha sido construído em seu mundo interno. Começou a encarar de frente! Na medida em que se sentia fortalecido foi desconstruindo esse pai internalizado. Pôde até encontrar alguns aspectos de amor no padrão interno e reconhecer que poderiam fazer parte da nova construção. Uma nova imagem de pai surgia  e concomitantemente um novo Roberto! Parece que o perdão pediu licença! Finalmente havia uma semente boa a ser geminada! Depois de algum tempo, já fortalecido, partiu em busca do pai real! Foi acolhido com certa timidez! Nesse novo contato, soube que também seu pai havia sido vítima do seu avô. Seu pai repetia o modelo de forma inconsciente! O perdão trouxe transformações maravilhosas! As situações mal resolvidas foram renegociadas no silêncio do coração. UMA NOVA IDENTIDADE COMEÇOU A NASCER!

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