MEU OLHAR SEM ESPELHO! ( RECONSTRUÇÃO)

Hoje está sendo um dia especial em minha vida. Estou  numa conversa muito íntima comigo mesma. Um diálogo franco. Revelador! (Aproveitando o momento de um certo tipo de jejum, para desintoxicar o corpo e a alma)! Ficar por vinte e quatro horas à base de frutas e muita água. Nada de comer grãos, doces ou farinha branca. Como sou vegetariana e não como carne de espécie alguma, não é tão difícil! Está sendo o meu primeiro jejum. Pretendo fazer muitos outros. Olho no relógio, já está no meio da tarde! Estou começando a me sentir levemente atordoada. Não é ruim. Dá até um certo prazer perceber o corpo expressando, limites e sensações. Estou indo relaxar na rede que fica estendida  embaixo da laranjeira, aqui no meu quintal. É uma tarde morna de outono. Peguei um copo de água e vou colocar  num banquinho ao lado da árvore.  Colho uma laranja bem fresquinha, caso eu sinta fome! Finalmente, vou  para a rede. Ufa! Pronto. Que alívio deitar! Fecho os olhos. Dou início à viagem interna.  Aguardo um tempo, e vou entrando num estado de relaxamento profundo!  Quero acolher  sensações, memórias e pensamentos que emergirem. Mente relaxada… Estão chegando imagens e certas experiências emocionais que foram marcantes em minha vida. Nossa! Momentos engraçados. Até cômicos! Tantas brincadeiras! Saudades! Quantas pessoas que nunca mais vi.  Hoje são estranhas! Apenas lembranças de um passado. Tantas as emoções! Meus pais estão aqui também.  Aflora em minha mente tudo de bom que eu pude receber e viver com eles. Também o que não pude! O tanto que tive chances de retribuir à eles e ao universo, em forma de amor ou talvez raivas reprimidas. Chego a sentir culpa! Surge  na memória as muitas vezes em que fui ingrata com a vida… Quantas emoções conflitantes! Estou lembrando de você AMOR. Dos beijos e abraços escancarados de paixão! Sinto tão forte a força daquele amor. Deus!!! Não teve jeito!  Tive  que te deixar. Não me pergunte o porquê. São muitas as circunstâncias que a vida apresenta! Foi melhor assim. Acredite! Quero me convencer disso a todo momento. Há um monstro dentro de mim. Ele quer me corroer a Alma. Que droga! Sinto dor de cabeça. A barriga se mostra presente, com uma sensação de fome. Pego a laranja super fresca que guardei no banquinho ao lado da laranjeira. Delícia!  Nunca comi uma fruta tão gostosa! Acho que a fome está passando. Sinto o corpo leve. Só o bandido do coração não me deixa em paz! Está muito acelerado. Vou deixar a respiração cuidar  disso.  Inspiro! Seguro cinco segundos a inspiração. Expiro! Dou uma pausa rápida. Repito por nove vezes essa respiração. Esse exercício sempre melhora a minha ansiedade. Pronto! Estou mais calma; rever aquele amor?!? Só de pensar dá um arrepio na coluna!!!

852 comentários em “MEU OLHAR SEM ESPELHO! ( RECONSTRUÇÃO)”

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