O DOCE SABOR DA ESPERA! (PACIÊNCIA/CALMA).

Me chamo Sheila. Desde pequena me chamam de “Moleca”. Eu era muito arteira. Por isso minha mãe se preocupava demais comigo. Fui uma criança inquieta e não gostava de esperar por nada. Muito rebelde. Adorava aprontar! Precisei passar por momentos doloridos para assimilar os ensinamentos de minha mãe. Ela queria que eu buscasse ser uma pessoa mais tranquila e equilibrada. Sempre repetia que ter paciência e calma era uma grande  virtude. Torna a gente mais forte e segura. Não imaginei como essas características seriam tão fundamentais em minha vida. Quando pequena, muitas vezes, eu pedia algum presente ou tinha algum capricho fora de hora; ela, sabiamente,  me ensinava a esperar. Dizia que era importante postergar algumas vontades e prazeres. Falava que depois seria até mais gostoso o sabor da realização do desejo. Na época, eu não entendia muito isso. Me revoltava. Fazia birra. Ela com ternura e firmeza, na maioria das vezes, não cedia. Só depois da adolescência, fui internalizando esse padrão mental e percebendo que isso me conduzia a situações bem resolvidas, tanto no psicológico quanto no aspecto físico. “Saber esperar e ter paciência”. Quanta sabedoria! Houve um acontecimento traumático quando eu tinha onze anos de idade. Mudaria rumos em minha vida. Precisei como nunca seguir os  ensinamentos de minha mãe. Foi numa tarde de sol, no quintal da casa de minha avó. Lá estavam Mônica, Felipe, André e eu.  Todos os meus amiguinhos queridos! A gente tinha mais ou menos a mesma idade. Combinamos brincar de cantar  em cima do galho de uma das mangueiras. Escolhemos a mais alta! Era um lugar incrível! Dava vista para um vale maravilhoso. A gente avistava também todas as árvores frutíferas do pomar e a chaminé soltando fumaça  do fogão à lenha. Cheiro delicioso . Um convite ao jantar. Sensação de liberdade e poder! Além das mangueiras, tinham laranjeiras, macieiras e jabuticabeiras.  Até pé de jaca! Estávamos no outono. Aquele vento frio da tarde balançando os galhos! Arrepiava. Arrepio gostoso! Naquele dia, a gente não parou nem pra ir tomar o lanche da tarde. Lembro de minha avó, chamando com insistência, lá da porta da cozinha. A gente gritava bem alto que já iria. Mas criança é egocêntrica, mesmo! Parece que se desse uma pausa na brincadeira, o mundo iria acabar! Até porque logo ia anoitecer, a gente queria aproveitar ao máximo. A brincadeira consistia em cantar músicas que falassem de um tema escolhido pelo grupo. Segurando  numa corda, amarrada num dos galhos, a gente subia e cantava lá em cima. Nossa, como estava divertido! A palhaçada rolava. Além de cantar, tinha que fazer malabarismos corporais. Expressar a canção. A graça era manter o equilíbrio. Quando chegou a minha vez de cantar, eu subi normalmente. Já tinha uma certa experiência naquilo. Lá em cima, não sei porque, comecei a me sentir tonta. Percebendo que não estava bem, me segurei forte na corda. Dei um jeito de sentar no galho. Meus amigos, assim que perceberam a situação, foram  rapidamente chamar a minha avó. Só ficou o Felipe comigo. Ele subiu até onde eu estava tentando me ajudar. De repente tudo ficou escuro. Só sei que acordei numa cama de hospital. Sem poder andar! Fiquei internada por longos meses. Sai de lá numa cadeira de rodas! Soube depois que caí e causei danos à minha coluna. Felipe, desesperado, não conseguiu me segurar lá em cima. Ele sofreu muito com tudo isso. Se sentiu culpado. Foi um período muito difícil. Amadureci na marra! Já se passaram quinze anos desse dia fatídico! Durante esse período muita coisa aconteceu. Os meus amigos se mudaram. Nunca mais os vi. Só restou o sensível Felipe. No começo, ele resistiu muito em ir me visitar; não tinha coragem.  Soube que por um bom tempo se deprimiu e chorou muito.  Imaginem, eu tive que consolá-lo! Busquei sempre ter força e batalhar. Esperar a vida melhorar. Aprendi a encarar com otimismo os desafios que a vida tem me trazido. Tenho encontrado muitas formas de ser feliz e iniciar projetos pessoais jamais sonhados. Lancei um livro auto-biográfico há quatro meses. Esta indo muito bem! Estou cursando psicologia. Sempre me interessei em conhecer os movimentos do psiquismo humano. Essa viagem interna tem me realizado muito. Grandes planos à vista! Felipe se tornou meu melhor amigo. Me dá a maior força! Ele  terminou o curso de engenharia naval e já esta pensando em fazer seu mestrado ano que vem. É  uma graça de homem! Um pouco ansioso. De vez em quando me sufoca com atitudes generosas e controladoras. Nesses instantes, busco sentir  calma e paciência. Lembro sempre de minha mãe! Mostro a ele aspectos importantes e necessários para a saúde de nossa amizade e companheirismo. Ele por sua vez me ensinou a ser organizada e construir projetos em cima dos sonhos. Nos últimos tempos notei Felipe meio estranho. Cheguei a me preocupar que ele tivesse percebido a paixão oculta que sinto por ele há tanto tempo!  Tudo ficou mais iluminado para mim, neste último fim de semana. Estava rabiscando o meu segundo livro na sala de estar. Coloquei som de jazz pra relaxar.  Preparei suco verde pra estimular as energias.  Pensava num tema que viesse das entranhas. De repente, a campainha tocou. Fui olhar pelo olho mágico pra ver quem era. Não acreditei! Era o Felipe! Eu estava toda descabelada. Ele não poderia me ver assim! O que será que ele queria? Meu coração disparou e decidiu. Num impulso, não pensei duas vezes. Abri a porta. Encontrei um par de olhos brilhantes e muito tesão no ar! O céu se fez presente. Valeu a pena esperar!

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