Fui uma criança sonhadora e muito criativa. O mundo da imaginação me estimulava a sair da pobreza em que vivia. Nunca tive uma boneca, nem uma pequenina, como normalmente toda menina tem. Resolvi esse problema adotando o meu travesseiro como minha filhinha em minhas brincadeiras de criança. Quando sozinha, eu o enrolava num pano qualquer e desse jeito ela era o meu bebê. Ficava horas reproduzindo tudo que eu via minha mãe fazer com meu irmãozinho. Minha mãe dava um duro danado. Além de cuidar de seus dois filhos e da casa, ainda era costureira. Lembro dela horas a fio atrás daquela máquina. Muitas vezes percebi que chorava, quietinha no canto da cozinha, perto do fogão a lenha, onde ela fazia a macarronada mais gostosa do mundo. Todo domingo era dia de macarrão! Eu me deliciava. Não fosse o homem estúpido com quem ela se casou pela segunda vez, acho que eu teria sido uma criança feliz. Quando ela se separou de meu pai eu tinha nove anos e um amor infinito por ele. Sofri muito com essa separação. Por ser criança, naquela época, não pude entender os seus justos motivos. Meu pai tinha muitas qualidades, era honesto e trabalhador. Não tinha formação. Trabalhava onde surgia chance. Não tinha tempo ruim para ele. O problema era o seu jeito duro e insensível de ser. Homem rígido. Pai carinhoso do seu jeito. Voz forte, que me transmitia muita segurança. Algumas vezes, muito medo. Nunca voltava atrás de uma opinião formada. Enxergava o casamento como um machão. Só ele decidia. A esposa não tinha espaço para isso. Anulava a identidade de minha mãe. Não valorizava os esforços contínuos que ela fazia em sua máquina de costura! Muito menos a percebia como mulher. Diga-se, uma bela fêmea. Com uma sensibilidade exagerada. Muito sonhadora, assim como eu. Um belo dia, ela se encantou com o jornaleiro do bairro em que a gente morava. Um grande sedutor. Virou sua cabeça! Começou a fazer loucuras. Tenho na memória cenas de violência doméstica. Eu e meu irmãozinho nos escondíamos atrás da porta, até a briga acabar. Meu pai não queria a separação. Minha mãe não quis saber. Estava louca de paixão! Meu pai foi embora junto com a minha alegria. Passado pouquíssimo tempo, o jornaleiro entrou em casa. Estranhei e adoeci muito. Aquele homem desconhecido, querendo ocupar um espaço que não era o dele. ELE NÃO ERA O MEU PAI! “Afetos verdadeiros só se constroem ao longo da vida”. Rafael, meu padrasto, era um estrangeiro em minhas emoções. Ele não tinha o cheiro de meu pai, o seu olhar não me protegia. Essa nova relação de minha mãe durou o tempo que dura a paixão, com muitos altos e baixos. Nunca consegui gostar dele. Acho que nem ele de mim! Hoje compreendo que minha mãe idealizou em Rafael o homem de seus sonhos. Quando, na convivência, emergiu a real pessoa encoberta por toda aquela sedução, a máscara caiu. Então ela resolveu nunca mais ter alguém. Foi decidida. Ficou mais feliz assim. Envelheceu sozinha. Ainda vive só! Hoje se dedica à caridade. Faz costuras para crianças carentes. A parte financeira ficou mais tranquila. Nada mais justo que eu e meu irmão a ajudemos. Cuidou da gente com tanto sacrifício e amor! Formados, cada um foi buscar sua realização e deu muito certo. Por outro lado, fiquei distante de meu pai por vinte e cinco anos. Durante esse tempo todo ele nunca mais me procurou. Sempre que ele surgia em memoria, eu desviava o pensamento. Não queria sofrer! Fugia mesmo! Hoje, fazendo psicoterapia, viajando pelo meu coração, nasceu uma necessidade enorme de conferir o pai que tive. Alguma esperança brincava dentro de meus sentimentos. Será que ele havia sentido a minha falta? Será que havia mudado o seu jeito de ser? E o amor? Como louca iniciei uma busca desenfreada. Precisava saber de seu paradeiro. Se ainda estava vivo! Na verdade era um resgate de mim mesma. Tentar limpar amarguras ancoradas. Talvez continuar mais leve e resolvida. Depois de muitas buscas, veio a confirmação. Encontrei o meu velho, internado numa casa de repouso. Percebi em seus olhos uma imensa solidão. Tentei contato com aquela solidão. Não consegui! Ela fugia de mim. Num segundo momento, surgiu aquele olhar duro, tão conhecido em minha infância. Não desisti. Instintivamente, coloquei as suas mãos entre as minhas. Estavam meio frias, sem vida. Fui tocando-as com toda a delicadeza que os meus sentidos permitiram. Comecei a falar de amor. Algumas lágrimas rolaram em nossos olhos. Me aproximei um pouco mais. Contendo os meus soluços, com dificuldades, pude dizer “Eu te amo!”. Ele apenas me olhou no fundo dos olhos e apertou suavemente a minha mão. Essa foi a forma que conseguiu me falar de amor. Rapidamente, novamente, aquele olhar fugiu para sua conhecida solidão! Acho que é nesse lugar que se sente mais seguro. Para ele nunca foi possível verbalizar o Amor. Constatei que ele não mudou! Continua ancorado na dificuldade de se expressar. Seus sentimentos ficaram prisioneiros de sua própria rigidez de caráter. Confesso que fiquei impotente. Rapidamente me apropriei da vontade de o conhecer melhor. Toda semana estamos nos vendo. Noutro dia até consegui que minha mãe fosse lá. Quem sabe esse meu velho, querido e rabugento, aprenda a falar de amor! SERÁ QUE UM BOM VINHO TINTO AJUDA?
Have you ever thought about publishing an e-book or guest authoring on other websites? I have a blog based upon on the same information you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my visitors would appreciate your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e mail.|
Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely comeback.|
Thanks for one’s marvelous posting! I actually enjoyed reading it, you’re a great author.I will be sure to bookmark your blog and definitely will come back sometime soon. I want to encourage one to continue your great job, have a nice holiday weekend!|
quite interesting article. however, in some cases it still needs improvement.
Hi there, this weekend is good in favor of me, because this occasion i am reading this fantastic informative article here at my house.|
Very descriptive post, I enjoyed that a lot. Will there be a part 2?|
There are some fascinating points in time in this write-up however I don?t understand if I see every one of them center to heart. There is some validity but I will certainly take hold opinion till I check into it better. Excellent article, thanks and we want much more! Contributed to FeedBurner too
Hey there I am so excited I found your website, I really found you by error, while I was searching on Bing for something else, Anyhow I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a tremendous post and a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read through it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the awesome work.|
Excellent blog here! Also your web site quite a bit up very fast! What host are you the use of? Can I get your associate link on your host? I want my web site loaded up as fast as yours lol|
Greetings! Very useful advice within this article! It is the little changes that will make the greatest changes. Thanks for sharing!|
Hello there, You’ve done a great job. I’ll certainly digg it and personally suggest to my friends. I’m sure they’ll be benefited from this website.|
Wow, wonderful weblog layout! How long have you been running a blog for? you make running a blog look easy. The whole look of your site is great, as well as the content!
quite interesting article. however, in some cases it still needs improvement.
Hi, I do believe this is an excellent website. I stumbledupon it 😉 I will revisit once again since I bookmarked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide others.|
With havin so much content and articles do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright violation? My site has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my authorization. Do you know any ways to help prevent content from being ripped off? I’d genuinely appreciate it.|
Hello. magnificent job. I did not anticipate this. This is a remarkable story. Thanks!
I think the admin of this website is really working hard in favor of his web site, because here every material is quality based information.|
I love reading your site.
Amazin!
Excellent goods from you, man. I have take note your stuff previous to and you are simply extremely great. I actually like what you have bought right here, certainly like what you are saying and the best way during which you assert it. You make it enjoyable and you continue to take care of to stay it wise. I can not wait to learn far more from you. That is really a wonderful web site.|
Well I sincerely liked reading it. This article offered by you is very useful for proper planning.
I will immediately take hold of your rss as I can’t to find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly allow me know in order that I may just subscribe. Thanks.
Really satisfying blog. I must state that you are very sharp in writing on all topics. You have mentioned all the essential aspects of the chosen subject. I love the means you write it and also it’s a lovable experience checking out all the sentences. Thanks for sharing your suggestions as well as see to it to write on different subjects to ensure that we keep appreciating your blog sites. As a material author, I additionally write blogs on trendy topics. My recent blog has to do with the latest version of Medical professional Standing by. See to it to read it and talk about it to educate me about your analysis experience.
Quality articles, I am waiting for your next article. keep working
Hello, its nice post concerning media print, we all be familiar with media is a impressive source of data.|
This site is really a stroll-by means of for all the data you needed about this and didn’t know who to ask. Glimpse right here, and also you’ll definitely uncover it.
What’s up colleagues, how is the whole thing, and what you want to say concerning this post, in my view its genuinely amazing in support of me.|
Hi, Neat post. There’s a problem with your website in internet explorer, would check this… IE still is the market leader and a big portion of people will miss your magnificent writing due to this problem.
What a material of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable know-how regarding unexpected feelings.|
Wow, marvelous blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is wonderful, let alone the content!|
Thank you for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research on this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more from this post. I am very glad to see such fantastic information being shared freely out there.
Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out a lot. I hope to give something back and aid others like you aided me.|
I’m not sure why but this website is loading incredibly slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a problem on my end? I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.|
As always great news!
Simply wish to say your article is as astounding. The clearness in your post is just great and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the gratifying work.|
Just wanna input that you have a very decent site, I the pattern it actually stands out.
I have been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this web site. Thanks, I will try and check back more often. How frequently you update your site?
whoah this weblog is great i like studying your posts. Stay up the great work! You know, lots of individuals are searching around for this info, you can aid them greatly. |
This paragraph will assist the internet visitors for creating new webpage or even a weblog from start to end.|
I’d like to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this site. I’m hoping to view the same high-grade blog posts from you in the future as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own blog now ;)|
I wanted to thank you for this excellent read!! I absolutely enjoyed every little bit of it. I have got you book-marked to look at new stuff you post…|
This blog is great.
You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something that I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!|
biggest variety of high quality cat trees & cat scratching posts. Most affordable costs guaranteed
Amazing blog! Do you have any helpful hints for aspiring writers? I’m hoping to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m totally overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Cheers!|
As always great news!
I every time used to study article in news papers but now as I am a user of net thus from now I am using net for articles, thanks to web.|
We are a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your website offered us with valuable information to work on. You have done a formidable job and our entire community will be thankful to you.|
Now I am going away to do my breakfast, after having my breakfast coming over again to read further news.|
Amazing content here.
What’s Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It absolutely helpful and it has aided me out loads. I’m hoping to give a contribution & assist other users like its aided me. Good job.|
This blog is great.
Inspiring story there. What happened after? Thanks!|
I’ll right away grasp your rss feed as I can not find your email subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly permit me realize so that I may subscribe. Thanks.|
Hi! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new apple iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Carry on the superb work!|
Thank you for another informative web site. Where else could I get that kind of info written in such an ideal way? I’ve a project that I am just now working on, and I’ve been on the look out for such info.
This is the ideal blog site for any individual who wishes to find out about this topic. You realize so much its nearly hard to say with you (not that I in fact would want?HaHa). You certainly placed a new spin on a subject thats been blogged about for many years. Wonderful stuff, just wonderful!
Hello to every body, it’s my first pay a quick visit of this webpage; this weblog includes awesome and truly excellent material in support of readers.|
I think the admin of this website is actually working hard in support of his site, since here every stuff is quality based data.|
With havin so much written content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement? My site has a lot of exclusive content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it looks like a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my authorization. Do you know any methods to help prevent content from being ripped off? I’d truly appreciate it.
It’s difficult to find experienced people for this topic, however, you seem like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks|
After going over a few of the blog articles on your site, I really appreciate your way of writing a blog. I bookmarked it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back in the near future. Take a look at my web site too and tell me how you feel.|
Hey! Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group? There’s a lot of people that I think would really enjoy your content. Please let me know. Many thanks|
Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I’ve really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!|
This article offers clear idea in favor of the new visitors of blogging, that actually how to do running a blog.|
Would you be excited about exchanging hyperlinks?
Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that I get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently fast.|
An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a coworker who was doing a little homework on this. And he in fact bought me lunch because I discovered it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending time to discuss this issue here on your web site.|
When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Appreciate it!|
I used to be able to find good info from your articles.|
A motivating discussion is worth comment. I think that you need to publish more on this subject, it may not be a taboo matter but typically folks don’t talk about these subjects. To the next! Kind regards!!|
Hey very nice blog!|
Good day! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a group of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us valuable information to work on. You have done a outstanding job!|
Hi! I simply wish to offer you a big thumbs up for the great info you’ve got right here on this post. I am coming back to your site for more soon.|
Appreciate this post. Will try it out.|
I enjoy what you guys are usually up too. This type of clever work and reporting! Keep up the wonderful works guys I’ve added you guys to my own blogroll.|
Amazing blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A theme like yours with a few simple tweeks would really make my blog jump out. Please let me know where you got your design. Bless you|
Hey there are using WordPress for your site platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and set up my own. Do you need any html coding knowledge to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!|
naturally like your website but you need to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very troublesome to inform the truth on the other hand I will certainly come again again.|
I think this is among the most important info for me. And i’m glad reading your article. But want to remark on some general things, The site style is ideal, the articles is really nice : D. Good job, cheers|
I have been browsing online more than 2 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be a lot more useful than ever before.|
Pretty part of content. I simply stumbled upon your site and in accession capital to claim that I get actually loved account your weblog posts. Anyway I will be subscribing to your augment or even I success you access persistently fast.|
I’ve been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this site. Thanks , I’ll try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your website?
We are a gaggle of volunteers and opening a brand new scheme in our community. Your site provided us with valuable information to paintings on. You have done a formidable process and our entire group will probably be grateful to you.
I’m gone to convey my little brother, that he should also pay a visit this web site on regular basis to take updated from latest reports.|
Simply want to say your article is as astonishing. The clarity in your post is simply nice and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission allow me to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the rewarding work.|
Right here is the right site for anyone who wants to find out about this topic. You know a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you (not that I really would want to…HaHa). You certainly put a fresh spin on a subject which has been written about for many years. Wonderful stuff, just wonderful!|
Hey would you mind letting me know which webhost you’re using? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good hosting provider at a reasonable price? Thanks a lot, I appreciate it!
Having read this I thought it was rather enlightening. I appreciate you taking the time and energy to put this content together. I once again find myself spending a lot of time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worth it!|
Hello there, I found your website via Google while looking for a related topic, your website came up, it looks good. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
We’re a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your website offered us with valuable information to work on. You have done a formidable job and our whole community will be grateful to you.|
I’m not sure exactly why but this weblog is loading very slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a problem on my end? I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.
Great article. I am experiencing a few of these issues as well..|
You are a very bright person!
Marvelous, what a blog it is! This website provides useful facts to us, keep it up.|
Appreciate this post. Will try it out.|
I just could not depart your website prior to suggesting that I really enjoyed the standard info a person provide for your visitors? Is gonna be back often to check up on new posts
My spouse and i ended up being really thankful when Peter managed to finish up his investigations because of the precious recommendations he obtained out of your weblog. It’s not at all simplistic to just possibly be giving freely information and facts that most people could have been making money from. We really already know we have got the blog owner to be grateful to for this. All of the explanations you’ve made, the easy website menu, the relationships you can aid to create – it is all astounding, and it’s letting our son and the family reckon that that content is enjoyable, which is certainly particularly essential. Many thanks for all the pieces!
Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is excellent blog. An excellent read. I will definitely be back.
Hey There. I discovered your weblog the usage of msn. That is a very neatly written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and return to read extra of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I will definitely comeback.