MUITO PRAZER! ( UM SONHO DE AUTO DESCOBERTA)

Estava ficando maluca. Minha cabeça pesava tanto! O pescoço estava dolorido e frágil. Acordei naquela quarta-feira com a sensação de que um trator tinha passado sobre meu corpo! Estava de péssimo humor. Pudera, toda vez que aquele pesadelo acontecia, eu ficava péssima. Estava cada vez mais recorrente. A cena que ficava mais registrada era a da ” MENINA TRISTE”! Ela devia ter mais ou menos uns seis anos de idade, tinha uma aparência mal cuidada, roupas muito velhas e feias. Um olhar muito triste! O que me chamava mais a atenção era o nariz escorrendo até a boca e a expressão de medo e abandono. Ela tentava falar algo e sua garganta não conseguia emitir som algum. Tentava, tentava! Sua voz não saia! Desesperada, começou a correr buscando pedir socorro! Não conseguia! Numa aflição intensa buscava correr cada vez mais, como se assim fosse se livrar desse tormento. De repente as pernas ficaram bambas, tremendo, perdendo a força. Ela caiu no chão todo molhado, dentro de uma poça de lama. Sempre neste momento eu acordava, ainda sob os efeitos da tremedeira! Depois de ficar quase dois anos nesse sofrimento, resolvi tentar sair desse quadro insano. Lembro que estava chegando o dia dos namorados e eu me prometi que não queria passar aquela data nesse quadro psíquico tão alterado. Afinal, eu estava de namorado novo. Não podia estragar mais esse namoro, com minhas inseguranças e baixa auto-estima. Desta vez tinha arranjado o Felipe, um cara bem legal. Bom papo, sensível e estável. Não queria perder a chance de tentar ser feliz no amor. Há quanto tempo eu não sentia aquele friozinho na barriga! Já estava com trinta e cinco anos! A saída que achei mais saudável foi buscar ajuda terapêutica. Uma amiga tinha me falado de um profissional muito competente, que havia feito com que ela conseguisse mudanças intensas em sua vida, através do processo a que ela se submeteu. Realmente eu percebi muitas mudanças em suas atitudes e uma expressão mais feliz! Fui lá. Começamos as sessões. Fui investigar quem era aquela CRIANÇA DESAMPARADA que insistia em me visitar em noites mal dormidas. Fui entrando, devagarzinho, em fragmentos de histórias emocionais deterioradas e mal resolvidas. Coisas que ficaram ancoradas em meu coração. Tive que conversar muito com aquela triste menina! Entender e aceitar seus motivos e angústias! Cuidar das feridas que sangravam. Oferecer todo o carinho e respeito que lhe negaram. Estamos nos tornando muito amigas! Sabe que estou tendo prazer em conhece-la? A menina já sorri e fala. Chego a chamar o pesadelo de sonho! QUEM DIRIA!

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