ESTIVE MORRENDO! (CASTRAÇÃO EMOCIONAL)

Desde criança, fui considerado muito sensível. Acho que foi por isso que minha mãe, mulher muito prática, tratou logo de resolver o problema do jeito dela, me internando num colégio de padres. Muito rigoroso. Com nove anos de idade, fui afastada de minha casa. Foi violento para mim!  Adorava brincar com meu gato, jogar botão com primo, sentir o cheiro das comidas que minha mãe fazia. Tudo  foi arrancado  de mim, abruptamente. Ninguém quis saber qual era  meu desejo. Aliás, meu pai era um ausente. Não tinha voz para nada. Dominado pela minha mãe. Ela  quem controlava tudo. “Criança não tem querer”! Dizia que disciplina rígida é construtiva. “Eu iria amadurecer mais rápido e não choraria mais como menininha”. Ela foi cruel comigo! Não considerou meus anseios, meus temores e o quanto eu sentiria sua falta. Me senti abandonado, rejeitado. Não teve jeito,  fui separado de minhas fontes de afeto!  Quando cheguei naquele seminário, estranhei tudo. Era tão frio! Vivi momentos terríveis Sobrevivi. Realmente, fui parando de chorar; e de expressar emoções! Paralelamente, desenvolvi um quadro mental muito rígido. Durante  noites mal dormidas,  angústias vinham em formas de medo intenso e insegurança.  Esse medo foi sendo encoberto por uma raiva intensa. “Senti muita rejeição”! Desenvolvi a necessidade de ser o melhor em tudo. Comecei a funcionar como um robô! Não havia mais espaço para o “SENTIR”. Fui me  enquadrando naquele ambiente frio e sem afeto. Passei a ocupar o primeiro lugar da escola toda.  Usava todo meu tempo com estudos e futebol. Arrasei! Me destaquei. Todos me admiravam e respeitavam. Eu parecia uma máquina humana! Meu ego se alimentou com o sentimento de orgulho. Sobrevivi! O tempo foi passando. Minha mãe, muito ausente por todo aquele período.  Fazia visitas bimestrais ou trimestrais. Eu sofria calado. Imensas angústias em formas de pesadelos, intercalando com períodos de depressão! Me tornei extremamente competitivo. Com todo esse sucesso, fui convidado a escrever peças para o teatro de lá. Adorei! Aproveitei a chance para soltar “meus demônios” internos.  Fui me expressando.  Transgredindo regras rígidas através  dos roteiros que desenvolvia para o teatro. Serviam como válvula de escape dos meu conflitos. “Me transformei num transgressor de regras do internato”. Com dezessete anos fui expulso. Fui considerado uma ameaça aos valores daquela instituição. “Melhor notícia de minha vida”. Finalmente iria ter liberdade e seguir um caminho que fosse escolhido por mim. Saí daquele inferno! Nunca perdoei a minha mãe pelo abandono. Acho que ela nem percebeu! Vivia envolvida com valores externos e fúteis.  O status social sempre foi o que ela priorizou. Continuei com meus estudos, me formei em publicidade. Arranjei emprego. Dezenove anos, saí de casa. Hoje, aos trinta, sou profissional de publicidade, bem sucedido. Ganho dinheiro suficiente para ter conforto. NÃO SOU FELIZ! Nunca me apaixonei por ninguém. Nem por homem! Nem por mulher! Muitas dificuldades, com afetos e vínculos. Há uns dois meses comecei a ter um pesadelo recorrente. Está me incomodando muito! No pesadelo, sou criança perdida num deserto, com frio e tremendo muito.  De repente começo a gritar desesperadamente. Acabo chorando muito! Acordo com taquicardia e suores frios. (Andei lendo, ultimamente, textos sobre a ansiedade). Acho que esse mal me pegou. Não ando bem emocionalmente. Quando alongo e respiro, sinto certo alívio no peito. “TALVEZ O HOMEM ROBÔ FAÇA AS PAZES COM O MENINO CHORÃO”!

1.096 comentários em “ESTIVE MORRENDO! (CASTRAÇÃO EMOCIONAL)”

  1. Hey There. I found your blog the usage of msn. That is an extremely neatly written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to read extra of your helpful info. Thank you for the post. I’ll certainly comeback.

  2. I must get across my gratitude for your kind-heartedness giving support to visitors who really want help on the question. Your personal commitment to getting the solution around was especially interesting and has always empowered associates like me to reach their targets. Your invaluable guidelines means a great deal to me and additionally to my mates. Warm regards; from all of us.

  3. I have been browsing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be much more useful than ever before.

  4. May I simply just say what a relief to uncover a person that genuinely understands what they are talking about online. You actually know how to bring a problem to light and make it important. More and more people have to check this out and understand this side of the story. I can’t believe you’re not more popular because you definitely possess the gift.

  5. Does your site have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to send you an e-mail. I’ve got some suggestions for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it expand over time.

  6. Hi there would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re working with? I’m planning to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a difficult time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!

  7. Good web site! I really love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written. I am wondering how I might be notified when a new post has been made. I have subscribed to your RSS feed which must do the trick! Have a nice day!

  8. I blog frequently and I truly appreciate your information. This article has truly peaked my interest. I will bookmark your blog and keep checking for new information about once per week. I subscribed to your RSS feed too.

  9. You are so interesting! I don’t believe I’ve read through a single thing like that before. So good to discover another person with a few original thoughts on this topic. Really.. thank you for starting this up. This web site is something that is needed on the web, someone with a little originality!

  10. I blog often and I genuinely appreciate your content. The article has really peaked my interest. I am going to book mark your blog and keep checking for new information about once a week. I subscribed to your Feed as well.

  11. May I just say what a comfort to discover somebody that genuinely understands what they’re discussing on the net. You actually understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important. A lot more people must read this and understand this side of your story. I was surprised you are not more popular because you definitely have the gift.

  12. Undeniably believe that which you stated. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the net the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get irked while people think about worries that they plainly do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people can take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

  13. There are some interesting time limits on this article however I don’t know if I see all of them heart to heart. There’s some validity however I’ll take maintain opinion until I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we want more! Added to FeedBurner as properly

  14. Considering another person whom knows about reports, still would not realize how to travel alongside one another? You may be just a friend or relative that does not have any any time to help you relax as well as dwelling and additionally hammer outside phrases even on a key pad.

  15. Many thanks, I’ve recently been looking for information around this particular subject matter for ages and also your own is the better I’ve uncovered to date. Nevertheless, what about tha harsh truth? Are you particular regarding the supply?

  16. There are some attention-grabbing time limits in this article however I don’t know if I see all of them center to heart. There’s some validity however I will take maintain opinion till I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we wish extra! Added to FeedBurner as properly

  17. of course like your web-site but you have to check the spelling on several of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very troublesome to tell the truth nevertheless I’ll certainly come back again.

  18. This is the right web site for everyone who wishes to understand this topic.

    You understand so much its almost tough to argue with you (not that I personally will need to…HaHa).
    You definitely put a fresh spin on a topic
    that has been written about for decades. Excellent stuff, just
    great!

  19. I’m extremely pleased to uncover this web site. I wanted to thank you for ones time just for this wonderful read!! I definitely savored every part of it and i also have you saved as a favorite to look at new stuff on your web site.

  20. Aw, this was an extremely nice post. Finding the time and actual effort to create a very good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a whole lot and don’t manage to get nearly anything done.

  21. I’ve been exploring for a bit for any high-quality articles or blog posts on this kind of area . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this web site. Reading this info So i’m happy to convey that I have a very good uncanny feeling I discovered just what I needed. I most certainly will make sure to do not forget this site and give it a glance regularly.

  22. It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d most certainly donate to this brilliant blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share this site with my Facebook group. Chat soon!

  23. Having read this I believed it was extremely informative. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this content together. I once again find myself spending a significant amount of time both reading and posting comments. But so what, it was still worth it!

  24. I absolutely love your site.. Great colors & theme. Did you build this amazing site yourself? Please reply back as I’m trying to create my own site and would like to know where you got this from or just what the theme is named. Kudos!

  25. Hi there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this web site before but after going through many of the posts I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m certainly delighted I came across it and I’ll be book-marking it and checking back regularly!

  26. Thank you for some other informative website. Where else could I get that type of information written in such an ideal means? I’ve a venture that I am just now running on, and I have been at the look out for such information.

  27. After study a few of the websites on your own site now, and I truly such as your technique for blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site list and will be checking back soon. Pls look at my internet site in addition and let me know how you feel.

  28. Oh my goodness! Awesome article dude! Thank you, However I am having difficulties with your RSS. I don’t know the reason why I can’t subscribe to it. Is there anybody else having the same RSS issues? Anyone who knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanks!!

  29. I would like to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this site. I am hoping to view the same high-grade blog posts by you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own blog now 😉

  30. Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Many thanks, However I am going through issues with your RSS. I don’t know the reason why I can’t subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting the same RSS issues? Anyone that knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanx!!

  31. You’re so cool! I don’t suppose I have read through anything like that before. So great to find somebody with unique thoughts on this subject. Really.. thanks for starting this up. This website is one thing that is required on the internet, someone with a little originality!

  32. After I originally left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I recieve four emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is an easy method you can remove me from that service? Cheers!

  33. Hi there, There’s no doubt that your web site may be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your site in Safari, it looks fine however, when opening in IE, it’s got some overlapping issues. I merely wanted to give you a quick heads up! Aside from that, fantastic site!

  34. Hi there, I discovered your blog via Google even as
    looking for a similar subject, your site came up,
    it appears good. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

    Hi there, just was alert to your weblog via Google, and found that it’s really
    informative. I’m going to be careful for brussels. I’ll appreciate for those who proceed this in future.
    Numerous people will be benefited out of your writing. Cheers!

  35. I’m extremely pleased to find this website. I wanted to thank you for your time due to this wonderful read!! I definitely appreciated every part of it and I have you book marked to check out new stuff on your blog.

Deixe uma resposta

O seu endereço de e-mail não será publicado.